Money, Musings, Parenting, pregnancy

On Motherhood and Success

Mom and baby swimming

Last weekend, we went swimming. I enjoyed looking at our pictures, because it was evident that I am already close to losing all the baby weight, which is one of my personal goals. One of my big fears when I was pregnant was that I wouldn’t be able to lose the extra pounds after giving birth. When I was younger, I used to be so naive, thinking that the best way to solve problems was to play it safe and try to avoid encountering those problems in the first place. Thus, I thought that to avoid getting fat, I would just never get pregnant.

I thought I would never get married or have kids. I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, earn a lot, and never get frumpy. Studying in an all-girls high school, I was taught that girls could be trailblazers in their careers. It was also implied that getting married and having kids were not goals worthy of an educated woman. Of course, they remained desirable aims, but it was not enough to be a housewife or mother. You had to work as well, because… women should be able to do it all!

At school, you learn that most in middle-class society expect mothers to work and take care of the household. No one ever tells you that managing a household is a full-time job in itself. There are no promotions, hefty bonuses, or awards for years of service. There are no fancy titles or corner offices. And without any extra help, it will take up all of your time and make having a corporate position impossible. Two years ago, I was forced to resign from a job I liked, trading foreign exchange at a bank. I had no one who could help me take care of my newborn son. And so from full-time banker, I became a full-time mother.

With my new position, I was on call round-the-clock. Bonuses were frequent but in kind—hugs and kisses throughout the day—honestly, the best kind of bonus ever. Automatic tenure made this position very secure. However, the only chance of promotion involved constant power struggles between the real boss (me) and the boss baby. Two years in, I don’t know if my superiority will ever be fully acknowledged.

Ever since I became a mom, I have begun to base my life choices on what I believe is best for my family. I refuse to equate staying home with a child with less income. On the contrary, I believe having a child should inspire us to find multiple income sources and opportunities for passive income. I was a banker, but it was actually when I assumed the job title of mother that I became more motivated to grow our wealth. I am happy to say that in that aspect, we have taken concrete steps that I perhaps wouldn’t have taken this early on without the pressure of having a dependent.

If back in high school, I used to define success as climbing the corporate ladder, now, becoming a mother has changed that. Success for me now is having the free time to do the things you truly want to do. Success is being able to work smart instead of work hard. Success is spending a quarter of your day on work, and the rest on quality time with loved ones. Success is having your money work for you and not the other way around.

Swimming

Raising a human being is truly a difficult job, and I am incredibly lucky to be able to do it full-time. Every day, my baby boy looks up to me. Every day, I hope I am doing right by him, helping him become a good person.

Children are incredibly perceptive. They learn from what we say, but even more from what we do. If there is one trait I want my son to admire in me, it’s ambition. It was difficult for me to shed all the baby weight, but I set a goal, and I am almost there. I want my son to look at me and see a person comfortable and confident in her own skin. It was heartbreaking for me to give up corporate life, but I found other sources of income, and I will find more down the road. I want my son to understand that his parents will always seek ways and means for the family to live life to the fullest.

Postpartum mom weight loss

At one of my lowest points last year, I broke down alone, feeling cheated by fate and utterly worthless. Then I thought of my son, fought against the hopelessness, and took action. I was extremely vulnerable, but I would willingly expose myself to that productive pain over and over again, for our future. I want my son to look at how our family stares down defeat, ala Arya Stark, and says, “Not today.”

Life’s setbacks make the ambitious even more resourceful. I hope that I can set a good example, so that my son finds fulfillment in constantly growing and learning. Becoming a mother taught me that while life will throw so many obstacles our way, facing them head on is what will make us stronger and wiser. I hope that my son becomes successful, and by this, I mean fulfilled with anything he sets his heart on—whether it be advanced degrees, fatherhood, business, and/or advocacy work. I hope he grows up realizing that success comes in many forms—some are bright and flashy, whereas others are unassuming and steadfast. I hope he sees and celebrates those many forms achieved by himself and others. And I hope he can look at his mom one day and say, “I learned so much from her. She inspires me to grow constantly.” That, for me, would be the ultimate success.

Mom and baby swimming

Happy Mom’s Day, super moms! 🤱🏻 How has motherhood changed your idea of success? ❤️

#motherhood #success #work #grind #money #passion #business #momlife #mommy #parenting #family #postpartum #weightloss #stretchmarks #mombod

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Musings, Parenting, Uncategorized

Fitbit Charge 3: One Month Progress Update

Last month, Casey and I bought Fitbits so that we could begin tracking our daily activity with the goal of leading a less sedentary lifestyle. After one month of daily use, I am happy to report that we have achieved visible results. While we made use of all the tracker’s features, the extent varied according to which features were more helpful to our individual situations. Casey used the heart rate monitor and step counter to help him get effective run sessions and ensure he reached 10,000 daily steps. I made extensive use of the food log and heart rate monitor to aid me in losing weight and ensuring my walks burned a respectable number of calories, which to me is just a modest minimum of 100 calories per session, as I bring Wolf with me on my walks.

Mom and baby exercise

It is quite challenging to get some decent exercise in with a toddler that tires easily and stops to look at every single thing on the road, but I figured out a way to keep my heart rate up during our walks. I jog in place for most of the time. It definitely makes me look silly, but I believe the results are worth it! Haha.

Just for comparison, here is a picture from my boudoir shoot last year, back when I was completely sedentary, placed beside my most recent picture taken the other day.

Before and after one month fitbit use

And this is my most recent front-facing picture. It’s amazing how there is already a noticeable difference in my body just after one month of light daily exercise of 20-30 minutes and food logging.

Mom weight loss one month

After one month of round-the-clock use of the Fitbit Charge 3, Casey lost 1.5 kg, while I lost 1.6 kg.

Dad weight loss
Casey’s weight loss after one month
Mom weight loss
My weight loss after one month

We didn’t do any extreme diets or strenuous gym workouts, just mindful eating and jogging around the village. Baby steps! We are not aiming to lose weight rapidly, because what is more important to us is being able to live a healthier lifestyle for the long term. Here’s to our continuous progress!

Mom weight loss after one month

Musings, Parenting, Uncategorized

Fitbit Charge 3: First Impressions

If you’ve read my previous post about losing baby weight, you’d know that I am a total stranger to exercise. Thus far, I have maintained a normal weight through diet. I lost the baby weight mainly through breastfeeding and moderating my food intake. This year though, I want to start some form of regular exercise, and the main reason is my husband. Last year, we found out that his cholesterol and blood pressure levels are not ideal. The best way to fix these issues is through diet and exercise. I am really sedentary by nature, and I know this does nothing to inspire my husband to get fit. On his own, he tries to get some exercise in, but I know that if I could accompany him sometimes while he bikes or runs around the village, he would be more motivated. And so when he decided to buy a Fitbit Charge 3 to help him track his daily activity, I decided to buy one as well. The money we used was from our Christmas cash gifts from my parents. So thank you, Mama and Papa, for the gift of health! Haha.

Fitbit Charge 3

I knew that Fitbit would help me make changes to my lifestyle, because the app appeals to my detail-oriented nature. As I am pretty OC when it comes to my body, I knew that I would appreciate how the Fitbit app provides a streamlined way for me to record daily activities. The app combines information that, previously, I would have to access through three different apps! The features that I think I will find particularly useful are the sleep insights, food log, and fertility calendar. For Casey, the heart rate monitor, sleep insights, and water intake log are proving quite beneficial so far.

I purchased my Fitbit Charge 3 just yesterday afternoon. I set it up last night and was able to track my sleep. I have always been a heavy dreamer, and through the insights from last night, I confirmed that I spend more time in REM sleep than the average. Haha. I set a few modest exercise and weight loss goals already, which the app used to calibrate how many calories I need to burn. Today, I tried logging my food intake, and I was pleased with how I could input the exact amount of food and easily change the unit of measurement.

Fitbit sleep log

Fitbit food log

I am a sucker for visual appeal and am usually willing to pay more for things that look better, and that’s why I ended up getting the Charge 3 Special Edition Lavender Woven Band/Rose Gold Aluminum. No regrets here as the band is really pretty. The woven band is slightly thinner compared to the classic elastomer band, thus making the tracker look more at home on my petite wrist. The app itself is also easy on the eyes and easy to navigate.

Fitbit Charge 3 Woven Lavender Special Edition

Wolf and I also went on our first tracked walk today. For my daily step goal, I set it at a very modest 4000, because I have to take Wolf into account. Sure enough, at 3000 steps, Wolf asked to be carried already. On the bright side, that’s some weight training for me! Haha.

Fitbit exercise log

Fitbit weight log

So far, I think the Fitbit Charge 3 is a great tool for anyone who wants to become more aware of their body and set some exercise goals. I’m hoping it will help our family become less lazy. I don’t want to lose my husband early to a heart attack. I don’t want Wolf to grow up thinking that exercise is not important. Till this point I’ve been such a sleep-loving human, but I need to at least try and set a good example, so here goes. Haha. Here’s to our health!